Every woman has times when she’s last on her own list. Some women, more often than not. Putting ourselves on the back burner seems to come with the territory of being a woman, and especially a mother.
As much as I preach about NOT doing that very thing, even I have days when I’m left stressed out, pissed off and overwhelmed because I’ve taken care of everyone BUT me! And while my husband really DOES try to make sure I’m OK, one thing I’ve learned about marriage and men is ; no matter how considerate they are, sometimes they drop the ball. Their needs are so completely different from ours that the love and attention we’re missing ,at times , would never cross their minds unless we told them.
As my mom always said, “no ones gonna do for you like YOU will”.
Knowing that, we have to make sure that we’re making time to take good care of ourselves ladies.
Even the single and childless can fall victim to the never ending demands of worklife.
To make things run a lot smoother I’ve come up with some Self Care habits that really help me when I remember to keep them!
5 Simple Ways to get back on your own To Do List
- Practice Communicating your Needs, Everytime. – As wonderful as it would be for our men and loved ones to be mind readers (like we are), they’re not! That intuitive way we just pick up on what others need, when they need it. Yeah, no one gets it quite like us. It’s a woman thing. It can be tough to combat the feeling of “No one has to ASK me to take care of them” but, if we want our folks to be more considerate, we’re gonna have to ask. The great thing is, in time, others will learn us and our needs and be more willing to do things without being asked or told.
- Make time for Quiet Time –Whether your thing is meditating, yoga or simply curling up with a good book. Make time to do it- quietly. It’s amazing the effects silence has on calming our minds and hearts. We can sometimes be unaware of how stimulated we get through the day. I know for me, there’s CONSTANT noise going on. Except for nap time, I am always surrounded by screaming, singing, banging children and it can become overwhelming. Your brain can feel like it’s on overload and just like any computer- it needs to defrag. I do this by waking up a little earlier in the morning, fixing a cup of hot tea and reading a few chapters in my Bible or another inspiring book. Try it and see the difference.
- Use what you Got – OK, so you don’t have “spa day” money. You have a bath tub don’t you? You may not have it to get pampered every two weeks, money or time wise- but it’s OK to DIY some Me Time lovin’! I’ve gone so far as to soak my feet in POTS with bubbles, herbs, essential oils and hot water! BOOM! Homemade DELUXE pedicure! A huge tupperware container will work too! Use what you have on hand. It’ll not only relax you, it’ll make you laugh! And when you look back- relieved, and successful- you’ll love where your brand of self love has taken you!
- Get OK with saying NO! – God will not strike you down with lightning for saying “no” sometimes! Your coworker needs you to work for them on your ONE off day in a month….NO!! Your child is fed, clean, and comfortable and just whining for nothing….NO! You’ve been looking forward to a free day and your best friend suddenly needs you to babysit so she can go paint the town red…NO! It’s OK to say no sometimes. Now, don’t go getting all crazy and saying no all the time because you never know when you’ll need that favor back. BUT learn to do yourself a favor and savor your free time instead of filling it up with other peoples’ obligations.
- Treat yourself as you would have others treat you- One of the main reasons we end up with the short end of the stick, as women, is because we don’t take the time to treat ourselves right. We tend to wait for others to do it for us and most times they never do. Why? Because in essence, you teach people how to treat you. If others see you putting yourself last, they won’t have a problem doing it too. What’s worse, they’ll start EXPECTING you to do it all the time. One of the first things I did when I decided I wanted to have a “good man” and a “good life” was to start treating myself how I’d want my husband to treat me. Not with expensive shoes and nights out but with finesse and care. I started using my energy to do good things for myself. I finally slowed down and paid attention to my body, my thoughts and my pain and was patient and gentle in working through all the things I felt were messed up. Needless to say, that energy attracted the energy I wanted in my life.
Peace and Love Ladies!!