pexels-photo-11760Sometimes, I’m conflicted when it comes to my brothas. Part of me understands the frustration toward the black man, because well, the situation is frustrating. We want them to be our leaders, our heroes, our warriors. We want to believe that the will to win within them hasn’t been completely trampled by 400 years of oppression.

The biggest part of me sees good men underneath the damage done by a messed up system. I see glory where some see shame – and blame. I see meaningful lives confused on what their purpose is, or if they even have one, other than being bait for bullets. Then I see stand up guys. Men who risk life and limb to grind their way to the top, so that our sons can see what’s possible. They sacrifice their souls sometimes for a sense of comfort in society – because the other options just won’t do.

Most of all I see their pain. The pain of a king who sits on the ground and looks up at a lesser man above him. A king who’s position in this world won’t afford him the power to crown himself, or his family. 

I saw the notorious Nightline interview with Lil’ Wayne and all I could see was pain in his eyes. Almost like an animal in a cage. A lion, tortured, then tamed. I watched the social media frenzy and all the mean remarks. Of course, I don’t condone his actions, I don’t even listen to his music; but what I do “get” is his pain. Manipulative editing will have you believing some things man. We shared our mind n the subject earlier tonight on Periscope. 

The major takeaway of our discussion was being compassionate toward our peoples’ pain. Our brothas AND our sistas are in pain. Generations worth of pain. Generations worth of oppression. We are carrying around the burdens of our ancestors, and yes, it shows. It comes out in uncomfortable settings. We turn our noses up at each other when that pain makes “us all” look bad in front of company, and we do the best we can to disconnect ourselves from the display and from the person hurting. Society has done a great job of making us believe that if we paint our masks on pretty enough we can separate ourselves from the hurt, but in truth, it ain’t going nowhere. We will feel it, and we should feel it. We should feel it and be inconvenienced by it until we can look at each other and see ourselves – and HEAL ourselves. 


Healing can be contagious. That’s the vision for the Master Queendom work and all the other work we do. Understanding that healed women will influence healing in men and educate children to not repeat the mistakes that got us here. I see a flame of the kings returning in time, and queens as well. I see us remembering that David didn’t go from shepherd to king overnight – remembering that we must cultivate, nurture, comfort and correct until we bring out the best in our men and ourselves.

What do you see when you look at a black man?


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