If you’re reading this you probably #staywoke. That’s important in this day and age because now is not the time to be caught sleeping, or slipping.
Nation building is the order of the day, and many men and women are taking on the charge. With the “scarcity” of good, black men in America (in quotes because I don’t believe the hype) it’s important to know what kind of man to build with. I shared a general view of the 5 men every woman should know in the F.I.N.E. & Feminine webinar, but I thought it’d be useful to give just a little more detail.
Of course, men come in all shapes and sizes. There are millions of different ways a good man can manifest. What will look and feel good to you won’t be the same for the next woman, and that’s a good thing. The most important thing is that you’re using discernment so that your heart is protected through the process. A wise woman knows that not every man is deserving of her time and energy.
We’re living in times when staying focused on our goals is essential. Giving time to a person who is playing games, causing pain, or unavailable is fruitless.
That’s why I shared the 5 types, so that women can discern what’s worth your time and choose wisely.
5 types of men every woke woman should know
• The “Dude” –
Don’t let his fun and playful side fool you Queen, this guy is not ready to grow up. You know him because there’s no “off switch” for his play. He’ll choose his friends, the club, his car, and any other frivolous thing over taking care of responsibility. The dude’s bills might be piled high in favor of the newest shoes, watch, gaming system, or event. He’s definitely a good time – and a bad waste of time.
The Dude is that guy that you’re always asking “what are we?” and “where do I stand?”. You’ll ask about commitment or marriage and he’ll change the subject with a kiss, sex, gifts, or petty arguments – but never give you what you really need. The dude isn’t afraid of commitment he’s just not ready. And that’s perfectly OK, just not OK for you.
• The Broken Man –
We always think we can fix a broken man. I can’t count how many times I said I would “love him past his pain”. As women, we naturally want to improve everything around us. The broken man doesn’t want to be improved. His anger is his friend.
The broken man is a live wire, and is proud of it. A hot temper and/or “no feelings” is a badge of honor for him. He’s distant and often disrespectful. Don’t brush off the signs or try to convince yourself that he’s not what he is.
As much as you want to fix this guy ladies, RUN! Run fast. Broken people break people. The broken man won’t feel bad about hurting you. If you want to take it there, you can call him a sociopath (straight Nancy Grace style). His mommy and daddy issues will compel him to pull you away from the people closest to you. Don’t give him the satisfaction of leaving you in pieces.
• The Healing Man –
This man is working on himself. Women can spot a healing man by his hunger to be a better man, his willingness to have feelings, and his ability to acknowledge yours. The healing man is open to learning new ways to grow, share, and undo his inner damage. He’s usually compassionate to your struggle and forgiving of your flaws because he’s accepted his own. The healing man can help you heal too, and sometimes he needs to heal on his own.
Observe where he is and, if you’re willing, meet him there. Your love can certainly elevate him if he’s ready to allow it.
Never force yourself into the space of the healing man (or any man). Forcefulness can send him backward or even push him away altogether. Forcefulness is also going against the feminine flow. Remember that what’s for you – is for you.
• The Prince –
The Prince is getting his life together. He’s building. His inner demons have been defeated or he’s figured out how to make them bend to his will. This man is focused, determined, and driven to be a great man. The Prince is often sociable, forward thinking, and putting pieces in place to provide
The Prince is positioning himself. He’s responsible and holds himself accountable for any damage he causes. He’s making mistakes, all men will, and he’s owning up to them.
This man is working to prove himself to himself, and to the woman he’s preparing for. The Prince is a pleasure to watch and his growth energy is contagious.
• The King –
A King is as a King does. You’ll know a king when you meet him because he’s serious. His nature is obvious, and while he can laugh, joke, and enjoy himself – that’s not his main goal in life. His main goal is security. The King protects and provides for those he’s responsible for.
The King is focused and stable. His stability creates security for you. He wants you to have what you want and will make sure he can provide, but he will never let your wants trump your needs.
Give thanks for the Kings. This man is a father, a leader, a friend, and confidant. He may not have all the time in the world because his time is dedicated to securing the kingdom. Kings tend to be quiet because they are thinking men.
The content of his character MATTERS…
When you look at the list above, understand that none of those descriptions came with a financial status. Not because money isn’t important – it is. I want you to know how to judge a man by who he IS, not what he has. Nationbuilding is the top priority, and while it takes funds to do that, you need to be able to judge how responsible a man is with his funds. How willing is he to give to causes that matter? Will he delay his own satisfaction for the betterment of the whole? Will he take care of you through struggle and success?
Those are the factors that matter.