I remember being so hard that I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t laugh and even at 4’11” I was the one person everyone knew not to eff with. I didn’t know I was broken, so the though to hold space for emotional healing never occurred to me.

I thought being tough would protect me from getting hurt, and even when the toughness itself was painful I refused to let those guards down.


I know I have a witness out there somewhere. Being a woman in this society – really, being a human in this society – compels you to build walls around yourself. You lock all your feelings inside because let’s be honest #teamNoFeelings is strong and they’ll march those stilettos and Timberland boots all over your heart if you leave it wide open.

Or will they?

You hear all the time “hurt people hurt people”, something you don’t hear often enough is that hurt people attract hurt people as well.

That little bit of perspective lets you know that the opposite is true too. Healed people heal people.

When I realized that holding all of my emotion in left me zero space for healing, I knew I had to change something. I’d started feeling my emotions physically – headaches, cramping, and persistent illness. I’d even started having car accidents. Yes. Repeated car accidents was a sign for me that I was on a crash course. 

Yes. Repeated car accidents was a sign for me that I was on a crash course. 

I know “we all gotta go someday”, but I wasn’t ready to go out like that. I was too young, relatively healthy, and had way too many dreams to let my life slip away from me.

See, emotion is the fire of life. It’s the passion and energy that propels your dreams and communicates to your body that you’re living.

When we block ourselves from feeling emotion we start to slowly die inside. It’s no way to truly live. 

On the other hand, when we hold space for emotional healing – that is, allowing yourself to fully feel whatever emotions arise – we inject the fire back into our souls and add color to our lives.

I invite you to hold space for emotional healing. Give yourself that gift. Turn on an hilarious comedy and laugh out loud. When you smile, show all your teeth. And when you feel the need to cry, cleanse. God gave us emotions to cleanse and heal our souls. Use your gift.


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