The past week has been a crazy time for The Nspiyahd Life. We’ve lost over 70 “followers”, stirred some needed (but triggering) conversations, and gotten further clarity on the healing that’s so desperately needed.

“Beef”, whether real or manufactured, tends to bring out the best and worst of us and calls our worldviews to the carpet in a very real way.

In case you’ve been under a rock where there is no wi-fi…or otherwise occupied with the real world, there’s a full-fledged catfight brewing in the Soundcloud streets. Now, if you’ve been following our work for any length of time you know that “pop culture” is not our lane – HOWEVER, upliftment of people of color is totally our space so we chose to talk about the Remy Ma diss track (even though we didn’t hear the whole thing) because there are lessons to be learned here.

The first lesson? Watch who you let into your life.

The whole situation is disgraceful on many levels, and yet, the thing that stands out most is that a grown man went and spilled the beans on his ex.

Not cool bruh. 

This is not the first or last time it’ll happen. We all know someone who got caught up with “ol’ dude”, and he turned out to be a Chatty Cathy type.

We all know this guy but we rarely pay attention to the signs until we’re looking back. 

This type of man is best to stay away from all-together (that means friendship too) because his bitterness is deep rooted and has no boundaries. I’m choosing to write about this because there are SO MANY great guys around us but this guy tends to make it bad for all the good ones. I’m thinking, if you can weed him out, you can see more clearly the men whose intent is pure and true.

In case you don’t know the warning signs, here’s a few tell-tale signs that a brotha is a #MeekMill

How to spot a #MeekMill

  1.  He’s perpetually salty – no one can win around this guy. If you do succeed there’s always a reason why you shouldn’t have or a word on why it won’t last. He’ll enjoy the celebration with you but at the first sign of clouds “I told you so” comes up and out.
  2. He keeps a fresh pot of “tea” on the stove – Stay away from men who gossip. Seriously. “Tea” is not cool for anybody, especially men. A man who’s always speaking someone else’s business is probably not tending to his own.
  3. He has no sense of decency in speech. A man who will say anything when he’s mad is a problem. So is a woman but we’re talking about the brothas today. This guy knows nothing about integrity and respectability. He is easily able to be pulled off his “cool” by anything seen as a slight to his over inflated ego.
  4. Things shared in confidence are resurrected in anger. It really needs no explanation that you should be able to trust the man you love with your secrets. If he’s bringing up all your dirty laundry when he gets mad, he’s probably been waiting for a reason.
  5. He talks trash about his “friends” – Loyalty is one of the hallmarks of manhood, so when you meet a guy who is always ready to throw his friends under the bus, beware. 
  6. He lacks empathy. I was so disgusted after seeing this story. It reminded me of a time I came across a guy with all these character flaws but of course, I overlooked them. One of the first things he ever did was be rude to a homeless man in my presence. If you ever see this, run. There’s nothing more telling of a weak man than how he treats those who are weaker than him.

 

It’s ok to expect for your heart to be protected when you open it to the worthy man. He finds it an honor and a privilege that you trust him to such a degree. Unfortunately, many of us run into ?? this guy waaay too many times before we happen upon a worthy man. Don’t hang your heart in the balance of good vs. evil.

That’s not what you were designed for.

Attracting a worthy man means that you’re always using the gifts of discernment and wisdom. Watching for patterns you’ve seen before and not ignoring red flags that’ll have you in tears later is key. 

The scripture tells you to prove a friend. That is your duty, as a woman and as a person, to protect your own heart. You will attract the level of protection you project. It’s easy to let your guards down when you’re obedient to your intuition.

 

What are some signs of #MeekMill men that I missed?

 

 

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